Dear momma

Dear moma it's bin a couple of years since I bin gone
And my heart is breaking in tears in this song
It's bin to long I wish I can tell you how I feel
I miss your smile an miss your hot meal
if I was there today I swear I would kiss your head an heal

They asked me what's the deal wit all the sad poetry
I told them its my dark past memory
It's haunting me
I Can't sleep knowing I caused you so many tears
Guess I'm the black sheep that walked with closed ears
Footage of the past unravel in my mind
Like a battle i battle my tears as I reclined
Stairing at the stars an what The Lord designed
If I was to die today is it only tears I would leave behind
I'm trying to find a place to hide from my deeds
But every time I try my dark memory recedes
My pen feeds to explain all the tears an regret
I can't seem to forget all the times I made u upset
In this life there's no button to rewind fast-ford or reset
The sun did set and it's almost time for it to rise
All I could do is pray fajer and ask The Lord to forgive me for the tears in your eyes
It's no surprise paradise is at your feet and its far from my prize
Ya Allah forgive me if I'm the reason my momma cries
So momma I hope you get this sad letter
Cuz Everybody's asking me what's a matter
As if they can't see why my tears splatter
I'm falling from the ladder
Can't stand looking at the man in the mirror
Please forgive me an pray that I get a little better

Dear moma it's bin a couple of years since I bin gone
And my heart is breaking in tears in this song
It's bin to long I wish I can tell you how I feel
I miss your smile an miss your hot meal
if I was there today I swear I would kiss your head an heal

I remember the times you spent your days alone
Stuck at home
You would get sick and left to be on your own
While I'm in the streets sinin with the fellas untill dawn
Soon as yawn I hit the crib an the lights still on
I walk in head down eyes bloody red and i carry on
Every day it's a day 2 day struggle
Couldent even be there as role model for my little brother
Can't stand the fact I made you an my father suffer so what the heck
I'm the only one to blame for my father putting the blade to my brothers neck
My life has bin a wreck bangin my head on the brick untill it welt
These words are my tears this is my pain an how I felt
And it's a 1000 times worser then my fathers belt
In the middel of the night runing from the cops to the house
An even my cuzin duckin like a little mouse
Not knowing what's going on your just sleeping on the couch
Untill the cops approach they start knocking on the door
How many times did I make you drop tears to the floor
Please forgive me every time I think I shead tears on the roof
I was 2 hard headed to see the truth
If there's something I could teach the youth
It's that your mother is the proof for your existence
An ever minute that pass you should treasure her presence
Or between me an u there's no difference
I swear If you ever made her cry you should cry as well an beg her forgiveness This instance
My father tuaght me bravery and you raised me
He told me never let my enemies phase me
Let them die in there hate haters will all ways hate its a fools fate let'em go crazy
My war never ended its all ways bin on

But Dear moma it's bin a couple of years since I bin gone
And my heart is breaking in tears in this song
It's bin to long I wish I can tell you how I feel
I miss your smile an miss your hot meal
if I was there today I swear I would kiss your head an heal

Grown up the tribe war back home is blowin up an here things are getting drastic
Bullets flying through the house as you panic
Guess my cuzins enemies getting frantic
Got my father up in the attic holding a Sami automatic
I know it's traumatic dramatic but what can you do
He's no stranger to danger an neathir are you
I wish these were fairy tails but its all true
That day I wish I had gun I would blast back to
Years passed my madness reached hights
School fights streets fights
An all them other crazy nights left me to question
Am I the reason for your sickness an depression
I swear it got me fearing repercussion
Not from these snakes cowereds an fakes that think they know me
I gave them my location told them to come an show me
It's the madness in my head an the whispers that I hear
I pray everyday an hope they disappear
So many thoughts in the air I wish I can write
But I hate to remind you of the pain I caused you every night an what I put you through
If there's anything I can tell you
Its Forgive me like the forgiver of sins above you
There's nothing else to say
but I love you

May Allah take all heartache

May Allah take all heartache away from you and your family. May Allah grant you and your mother the happiness you both deserve.

that's so touching

May your mother forgive you after hearing or reading this....May the Lord forgive you, also.
Move on, forwards...make it up to your mother, and surely it isn't too late for you to be an example for your brother. This is well written and so sweet