Submitted by : ImranAli786 on Poem Stories

Hamzah
By Imran Ali

I waited for so long,
And yearned for so little.
I had so much planned,
But now...
What now...
You came into this world,
Innocent, precious and pure.
My wish had come true,
But not my way,
But don't go away.
I scheduled our lives,
Predicted our future.
The fun seemed forever,
We had forever...
Years went by,
I watched you grow.
But unknown to me,
You were different,
Different... or special?
I don't know.
I thought it was a phase,
But phase turned to days,
Days to concern,
Concern began to burn,
But I still could not learn.
Until it was my turn, to know...

All
Understanding
Tarnished
In
Sudden
Moments

I now knew of this,
This... disorder.
That disrupted your order,
Could be no other... but you.
My brother, who I wished for,
Year after year, I prayed for.
Was tainted by this...
Is tainted by this...
And will live with this...

But now I apologise,
After years of the news,
Although I've known of this,
I continue to abuse.
Your anger is frequent,
Your noise is frequent,
Your violence is frequent,
This strangeness is frequent.
But it's not your fault,
But I wish I had the patience to see,
Forgive me...
Please...

I see you aspire me,
I see you look up to me,
Follow me, need me,
But I, oh I,
The word 'I',
Disgusts me, discredits me,
I am not worthy to be your brother.
You show your love and compassion for me,
I ignore and move away.
You want to play a game with me,
I judge you for your inability,
And move away.
You try to get my attention,
I shout at you, ignore you,
You cry...I sigh...
I try to say sorry,
But you startle in fear.

What have I done,
I ask each time.
My brother approaches with love,
He leaves with fear,
And sadness.
I stare at these words and reflect,
Upon my actions,
Which I regret.
The last time I cried,
Was at your birth,
And now, what I have become,
I beg for forgiveness,
My tears fall like rain,
This remorse gives pain,
I gain...
Nothing...

I love you so much,
But impatience blinds this.
I promise to change,
And I will turn this strange,
Into special...
As I run out of ink,
My heart will sink,
And now I think,
That Allah loves you more than I.

All I can ask,
Ya'Allah, forgive me.
And forgive me...
Hamzah.