Submitted by : adude on Think

My heart aches from the sins that I do,
It is as though a hand has gripped it, squeezing it
Not allowing it to feel peace
Which it was once well acquainted with.

What have I done in my life to deserve this,
Nothing, not video games, not high marks, not gourmet food,
satisfy me.

I feel something very essential is missing.
Although I cannot tell what.
...Oh, who am I kidding,
It is my dislike of obediance,
to the one I was created to worship.

How long will this torture continue?
How long will I deny?
That my life is in pieces.

I have no direction.
I have no purpose.

I live on short-lived pleasures,
Procrastinating with school,
Socializing to avoid the pain,
of my ultimate destruction.

When will I be guided?
I ask you, when will I be guided?
To the life, the blissful life, of the prophets?
Who prayed with purpose, who ate with purpose,
who played with purpose, who slept with purpose,
who loved with purpose, who hated with purpose,
who did everything for the sake of Allah!

When will I be like them?
When?

Is it when I will stop sinning?
Am I chained because of my disobediance?
Will the love of all that is good enter my heart, when I stop?
Will it?
Because if it does...
I may consider... maybe... just maybe... stopping.
Will you?